i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
