would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
