so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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