your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
