i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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