Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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