is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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