i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You are a booty call, not a friend.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
