tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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