So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
