i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
