i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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