I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
