we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can I color on your dick again?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
