this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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