just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
