he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
