Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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