I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
