Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
