Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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