I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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