real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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