We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
