Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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