i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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