i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
