making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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