ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.