If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
