now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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