You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
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There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
how does that bad decision feel?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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