There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
