Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Enjoy the penises
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
