He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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