I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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