I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You ruined the universe
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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