Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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