what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?