No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
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Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just high enough for therapy.
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'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.