My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
birth control should be required to get into college
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.