We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
