just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
