I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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