To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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