i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
