GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
