id be glad to
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
