Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
