I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
