I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
