I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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