Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
