Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
