Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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