So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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