I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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