ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
