the condom got lost in my hair
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize