Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
its liver damage thursday
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
