Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
